PIZZLE MA NIZZLE

My poor cute awesome cute cute puppy Ele just got fixed, or "SPAYED" (thanks Bob Barker). It's only been a couple days since her surgery and she hasn't really been her normal trick jumping self. She wouldn't eat, drink, or even "GOPEE" (that's one word).

It's tough watching your little helpless dog go through something like this. So I, like most other dog owners, tried to give her anything that would make her happy. I bought her the wet food, got her new toys, even tried playing the harmonica but nothing really brought her out of her slump. So, recently I came across an awesome treat while I was walking through the grocery store (Bulk Barn). It's called a Pizzle and it looks like this...

Looks like dogs would love it, right?

There were 8 inch and 5 1/2 inch Pizzles. Since my dog is so tiny, I decided to purchase the five and a half incher. I walked back to the car with Pizzle in hand and saw a sad little black lump in the passenger seat. So I whipped out the Pizzle which catches her attention immediately. She tried to grab for it but I've taught her to be gentle. So I gave her the "SHSHHH" and she gently took the Pizzle. She goes crazy for it! I've never seen Ele eat anything that fast. It was really exciting to see her so energized and acting like her real self. ELE LOVES THE PIZZLE!

So I was wondering, what the heck was this wonder treat made out of? Where did it come from? Why have I gone so long as a dog owner not knowing about Pizzles? Well, a quick Wikipedia search settled all of those questions for me.

PIZZLE
Pizzle is an old English word for penis, derived from Low German pesel or Flemish Dutch pezel, diminutive of pees 'sinew'. ^[1] The word is used today to signify the penis of a non-human animal,^[2]

MY DOG WOLFED DOWN PENIS! I don't even know what to say. I'm kind of shocked that there is a whole market out there for drying penis', sorting them by size, boxing them, shipping them, stocking the shelves with them and selling them. It's all kind of ridiculous, but as I read further through Wikipedia I start to understand why Pizzles exist in the first place.

"Pizzles for human consumption are prepared either by freezing or by drying. Scottish deer pizzles are thought to boost stamina and were used by Chinese athletes at the 2008 Summer Olympics.^[2][4] Pizzles can be served in soup, and if they have been dried they can be turned into a paste. Pizzles may also be mixed with alcoholic beverages or simply thawed (if frozen) and eaten."

OF COURSE! People have been feeding dicks to each other for centuries, that's a fact. But damned if I'm ever going to feed a Pizzle to a dog ever again, that's just disgusting. Oh man, I really think I should go back and edit what I wrote before Wikipedia tainted this post.

:.